The 5 Worst Game.Com Games

The Game.Com (pronounced Game com) was a Tiger Electronics handheld released in the late 90’s. A challenger in the portable market against the titan which was the Gameboy it was truly the little console that couldn’t. It was the actually one of the first consoles to try and utilize connection to the internet, but sadly the Game.Com could barely handle games much less the World Wide Web. There were some truly awful games on the Game.Com most of these were ported from other consoles and had to be severely downgraded or in some cases built from scratch. Yet, what games could be considered the lowest of the low for this system? The fine folk at Retro Gaming Magazine went through all 20 of them to find out which were the 5 worst games on the Game.Com

  1. Sonic Jam:

Sonic Jam was originally a game on the Sega Saturn which included various games from the series history (a totally unique concept which both Nintendo and Sega have never milked dry in the past).  The game had terrible FPS during some animations, but at least it ran rather decently (sometimes). On a high note the music for Sonic Jam was unlike anything you’d ever heard before in the series (by which I mean was awful).  While the Sega Saturn version of the games actually fun and enjoyable as a game should be, the version on the Game.Com was designed to take away everything which made it great such as the music, speed, and level design by turning it into crap. One interesting factor is that for a game with the name Sonic in the title he is potentially the worst character you could use. Sonic can’t even walk up a hill much less do the spin dash (one of the most iconic moves for the character) properly. The one saving grace for this game was that Tails kept his ability to fly! This was the way to beat the game because some of the running sections were extremely counterintuitive. This mixed with the stiff controls and choppy animations made it almost impossible to finish the game(s). The reason for its spot in number 5 is because it included multiple games and was still ran (get it because he’s Sonic) faster than most of the games in the console.

  1. Mortal Kombat Trilogy:

Mortal Kombat Trilogy on the Game.Com was one of the two fighting games in this console.  Both MKT and Fighters Megamix were ported to the console and severely downgraded. While both of these games suffered from the same gameplay issues caused by the limited specs in the Game.Com; MKT takes the slot by virtue of eliminating the major selling point of the game (the violence).  The gameplay in Mortal Kombat Trilogy was sluggish and included fantastic features such as choppy animations, no music, and delayed sound effects. This version of the MKT even crippled the character roster and reduced it from 44 playable characters down to 11 that is a whopping 25% from the console version and even removed two of the most iconic characters in the series (Sub-Zero and Scorpion). While this might have been due to hardware limitations such difficulty rendering the pulling motion of Scorpion attacks, but even so they included Rain which is essentially a palette swap of the characters.  There was also zero strategy required to finish this game since it could be beaten by spamming any projectile attack (even Motaro and Shao Khan were affected by full damage from them). This had the unintended effect of making it pretty fair from start to finish since unlike in the console ports you could potentially beat the last 2 battles using the same cheap tactics which were more than likely employed during your quest to finish Mortal Kombat Trilogy.  This factor alone is what earned it the number 4 spot on this list and did not rank it as awful as some of the ones mentioned below.

  1. Batman and Robin:

Named after the film which released in 1997 B&R is another exceptionally terrible title for the Game.Com. Like many Batman titles in the past it was a side-scrolling beat‘em-up, but without any of the fun and enjoyment. The Game.Com simply did not have the power to host these sorts of fast paced action filled games. At most you would find yourself surrounded by two enemies one on each side and there was no way to avoid being hit, you couldn’t move up or down to dodge and jumping would lift Batman ten feet into the sky only to land and get hit regardless. The sound effects were great though, every time your character was hit he would scream out as if he were having an Orgasm. The gameplay is simple you walk from left to right, and enemies start spawning randomly once you’ve sufficiently satisfied Batman’s (or Robin’s) bloodlust he allows you to continue on your way to the finish. But, you have to give credit to the designers because they specifically designed this game to the strengths of the Game.Com (which was the sound). This game earns the number three spot by virtue of being designed to the strengths of the Game.Com and thus its negative traits actually benefit it in the long run.  Mediocre and boring Batman and Robin is probably still more enjoyable than the film of the same name.

  1. Resident Evil 2:

Resident Evil 2 on the Game.Com takes us to our 100th journey through the zombie infested Raccoon City escape of Leon Kennedy and Claire Redfield. This game (as with almost every other on the system) is awful. The loading screens and controls are super sluggish coupled with the tank movement mechanics that the series was known for make it an absolute mess. The game begins with a zombie 3 feet in front of you and unless you read the manual it doesn’t provide enough time to figure out the shooting mechanics.  This is also not the last time in Resident Evil 2 where you’ll open a door only to be ambushed by a horde of them.  The puzzles were severely dumbed down as well. The scares were gone, the depth perception was skewed and aiming was also very slow which made it easier to get stun locked into a corner (this actually had the unintended effect of making zombies the biggest threat in the game with lickers being literally crippled). Interestingly enough you could actually sprint in this game, but the spaces were so small that there was almost no point in doing so. The visuals are great though (for a console in black and white) and Resident Evil 2 on the Game.Com actually does resemble the locations/enemies (the ones which weren’t streamlined due to memory limitations) from the console version, shame you won’t be playing it long enough to see them all. Resident Evil  earns the number two spot in this game because it took Resident Evil and removed the fun, difficulty and atmosphere turning it into one of the third boring experiences in the entire series (just behind RE5 and RE6).

  1. Duke Nukem 3D:

This is it, the number worst game in the Game.Com and overall port of all the Duke Nukem 3Ds that were released. This game is everything which Duke Nukem was not meant to be, boring, lame, and extremely limited (I suppose that means it’s on par with Duke Nukem Forever). Duke Nukem 3D was awful and anyone who’s ever played it will tell you that even on an emulator this port is terrible.Not content with ruining one of the most iconic characters in the 90’s the Game.Com took Duke’s voice and distorted it to a grainy incoherent mess (which really takes away all the humor in the series).  While the graphics for DK3D were well detailed for the system, it came at the cost of making everything extremely slow and you couldn’t see past a few feet in front of you (sometimes you could see the shadows of the enemies at a distance, but not often enough). At times the enemies in the game would just keep showing up from the same alley in a row almost lining up for you to kill them systematically. The game also stripped away the babes, secrets, and the humor which made the original such a memorable experience. At least if there is something I can complement in this game is that the enemies look fantastic even in black and white. Yet, there was no challenge other than the test of patience which was due to the limited specs in the Game.Com. It feels like every game that this system touched was drained of everything which made it enjoyable; Duke Nukem 3D earns the number one worst game on the console because no, not even Duke can save this sorry excuse for a port from the garbage pile.

There you have it folk; we played through and/or researched all of the games that were released on this console. While this list is completely subjective I would love to hear some of the readers opinions on which ones they thought were worse and the reasons behind that choice. The Game.Com had potential, but unfortunately action games weren’t it and instead it took popular franchises and drove them to the ground with its limited capabilities. Had the Game.Com been built with more solid hardware it would have perhaps stood a chance against the Gameboy, but honestly trying to port console games into this system was a futile attempt on cashing in these franchises. Let’s stay tuned for the next time when we’ll find out if there were actually any good games on the system.